By The Anti-Blez on Sunday, April 30, 2006

GAME FACE
Kansas Shitty center fielder Esteban German leaves the game after trying to play a sac fly off of his face. A's add insult to injury, extend win-streak at Kauffman Stadium to 12.

Swisher, Chavez, DJ go deep in 13-6 romp, proving that good hitting always beats really bad pitching. Or something like that.

By The Anti-Blez on Saturday, April 29, 2006

TIJUANA TURD
The $7 Million Mistake gives up 6 runs in less than 2 innings. Mother Nature gives the A's a break.

Loaiza is still in the rotation. Kendall is still in the lineup. How many more colossal misjudgments must Beano make before the T-shirt salesman and his Nation of Asslickers see through the Moneyball charade?

By The Anti-Blez on Friday, April 28, 2006

KANSAS SHITTY
Aww, shucks! Macha finally does something right, persuades umps to reverse call and award Ellis a home run. A's embarrass the Royals in their own home--again.

Victory is 11th straight for Oakland at Kauffman Stadium. But celebration is subdued by news of Harden going on the 15-day DL.

By The Anti-Blez on Wednesday, April 26, 2006

SLUMP BUSTER
DJ goes deep, putting a smile on a fat, ugly chick somewhere in Dallas. JayPay's 10th inning stroke seals the deal. And (sexual innuendo aside) the AAA's win.

The Big Hurt and The Always Hurt (aka Bobby Crosby) also homer as team posts a half-dozen runs for first time in last 14 games. Fans begin clamoring for Pathetics Nation T-shirts.

By The Anti-Blez on Tuesday, April 25, 2006

TEXAS BBQ
Rangers roast Zito. "Tastes just like chicken," says Hank Blalock. Winning streak halted at 1.

Senor Choke and Slobby Crosby go a combined 0-for-10, leaving 10 runners on base. Macha wakes up just in time to avoid choking to death on Juicy Fruit. And the T-shirt salesman sells another "In Billy We Trust" pink ringer.

By The Anti-Blez on Monday, April 24, 2006

BASH BROTHERS
Back-to-back dongs by Swish and Chavy drive AAA's past the Butt Rangers. Winning streak now at 1.

Scoring woes still a concern as team musters only 3 runs, and fewer than a half-dozen for 12th consecutive game.

By The Anti-Blez on Sunday, April 23, 2006

LO-WHY?-ZA
Esteban's 80 mph fastball carries him deep into the third inning of the game. The AAA's lose again.

Oakland is payiing $7 million a year for this guy? Beano (in whom the T-shirt salesman trusts) has got lots of splainin' to do.

By The Anti-Blez on Saturday, April 22, 2006

BLAND SLAM
Nick Swisher goes deep with the bases jammed, but it's too little, too late for the AAA's as the Los Angeles Anals of Assaheim emerge victorious.

By The Anti-Blez on Saturday, April 22, 2006

Oakland tries to climb back to .500--again.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Friday, April 21, 2006

The Anals in first place, the AAA's staring at last place.

It's like September in April!

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Thursday, April 20, 2006

I'm fed up with Major League Baseball and the way it fucks over its fans.

Earlier this month, I subscribed to the MLB.tv package so I could watch games on my Macintosh. According to the MLB.tv FAQ, the service supports Macintosh computers that are running OSX (which I am), use the Safari 1.3 web browser (which I do), and have the RealPlayer media player (which I have).

In fact, Safari 1.3 is the RECOMMENDED browser by MLB.tv.

So, I tried watching a couple of the season-opening games. Guess what? I got an error message on the MLB.tv website indicating that my browser (the RECOMMENDED browser) "is not fully supported," and suggesting I use Microsoft Internet Explorer instead. HUH?

So, I launched my ancient copy of the, crappy Explorer (aka Exploder) browser and tried to access one of the video feeds. Again, it was a no-go. I received an error message indicating that I needed to have the Windows Media Player installed.

I used the MLB.tv "customer service" webform to send them an inquiry. I fully described the issue, explaining that I had read their technical FAQ before signing up for the service, and was using their recommended setup for Macintosh users (OSX, Safari 1.3 and RealPlayer).

A couple of days later, I received a form-letter reply from MLB.com addressed to "Valued Fan." The form letter indicated my email (the webform I submitted) had been lost, and therefore they were contacting me to ask that I send my message again.

Um, somebody please explain this to me. If MLB.com had lost my email, HOW IN HELL DID THEY KNOW TO CONTACT ME?

The form letter went on to suggest that if I was experiencing technical difficulties, I should read their technical FAQ. (Which is exactly what I told them in my original inquiry that I had already done. Of course, they couldn't know this, because they lost my original email, right. WHAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!)

Anyway, I re-sent my inquiry (at their invitation) in the hopes that a real person might read it and tell me how I could use their service AS THEY HAD ADVERTISED IT COULD BE USED.

That was two weeks ago. I have yet to receive a reply--despite the fact that I have re-sent that same email inquiry six times since then.

OK, fast-forward to now. A day ago, I decided I'd never be able to use the MLB.tv, so figured I'd subscribe to the Gameday Audio package instead. This would allow me to listen to the games online. (I can't listen over the radio, because I live in Japan.)

I listened to yesterday's shitty game live. It sucked the AAA's lost, but at least the online radio thing worked. (Well, it worked OK, but the feed sounds like shit--something that was a problem last year, too. Only the AAA's feed sounds like shit--all the other teams are miked properly. I've emailed Robert Buan, the guy in charge of the AAA's Internet broadcasts, about this, but apparently he has the same disease that affects all other customer-service people in the MLB that forces him to ignore all reasonable requests for assistance.)

Anyway, I can live with the shitty sound quality, as long as I can listen to the games. Including "archived" broadcasts. If I was to have listened to today's game live, I would have had to get up at 4 in the morning here in Japan. Instead, I wanted to listen to the game beginning around noon here, as I sat in my office and ate lunch.

So, around noon, I launched the Gameday Audio archive for today's game, and guess what? The audio player launched, Ken Korach began doing the pregame show, AND A HUGE HEADLINE IN THE AUDIO PLAYER'S WINDOW ANNOUNCES "TIGERS RALLY IN 9TH TO WIN."

So, for me, the game was over before I even got a chance to listen to a minute of the broadcast.

I am now convinced that everyone who works for MLB is a complete fucking moron.

FUCK THE MLB. AND FUCK THE AAA'S

By The Anti-Blez on Wednesday, April 19, 2006

BLAH-TON
Boring, obese hurler gives up his weight in runs during 11-4 Detroit drubbing.

By The Anti-Blez on Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Oakland takes on Kenny "Madman" Rogers at the Coliseum.

Fans, bring your cameras.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Esteban "The $7 Million Mistake" Loaiza takes his 11.42 ERA to the mound to face a Detroit Tigers team that suddenly no longer sucks.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Sunday, April 16, 2006

HUSTON WEEP
Somebody's gotta tell Street: There's no crying in longball. (Though there's undoubtedly plenty of laughter in the visitor's clubhouse.)

By The Anti-Blez on Sunday, April 16, 2006

Easter Sunday.

Can the AAA's rise from the dead?

Let's Go, Croak-land!

By The Anti-Blez on Saturday, April 15, 2006

Oakland and the Butt Rangers battle for last place.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Friday, April 14, 2006

SHIT-O ZITO
Oakland's AAAce caps off another pooh-thetic mound appearance, surrendering 5 runs in the first 4 innings.

By The Anti-Blez on Friday, April 14, 2006

How many runs will Barry Zitoids give up today as the team continues its slide toward the cellar?

The suspense is killing us.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Thursday, April 13, 2006

Now it's the Twinkies goin' for the hat trick.

Let's Go Triple-A's!

By The Anti-Blez on Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Esteban "Loser" Loaiza, aka "Billy Beano's 7 Million Dollar Mistake," takes on the Twinkies.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The first of three games in Twinkieland.

Dome ball is dumb ball.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Sunday, April 09, 2006

Two shutouts in a fow. Going for the hat trick...

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Saturday, April 08, 2006

Time for Zito to turn it around. We''re going to go out on a limb and say that we've got a strong feeling he's going to do just that.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Friday, April 07, 2006

Here we go--another chance to look completely inept at the hands of the mighty Seattle Mariners.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Thursday, April 06, 2006

Oakland and Seattle begin their three-game series locked in a tie for first place.

How many times will we be able to say that this season?

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The AAA's have begun this season much like they did last season: They were shut down by the opponent in the first game, and defeated the opponent in the second. And after splitting the pair last year, they went on a 16-41 record. Though they managed to turn the season around and finish 14 games over .500, they never fully dug themselves out of the hole, and the Angels walked away with the AL West crown.

Will history repeat itself?

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Tuesday, April 04, 2006

BOBBY WHO?
Marco Scutaro, filling in at short so that Crosby fella can recover from his annual season-opener injury, drives in the winning run against the Yankees.

By The Anti-Blez on Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The AAA's will try to hold the Skanks to less than a dozen runs tonight.

Let's Go, Choke-land!!!

By The Anti-Blez on Monday, April 03, 2006

PLANET ZERO
Congratulations, Barry Shit-o. You are without a doubt the most overrated metrosexual clown to have ever set foot on a baseball diamond.

By The Anti-Blez on Monday, April 03, 2006

Because I have a business meeting with my crack dealer in Oakland, I have to leave early today, so this will be the very first regular season open game thread of 2006.

Let's Go AAA's!

By The Anti-Blez on Monday, April 03, 2006

During the 2006 baseball season, we predict that every time the T-shirt salesman sells a T-shirt, the AAA's will lose a game.

Let The Games Begin!

By The Anti-Blez on Saturday, April 01, 2006

Pathetics Nation has accepted a $500 offer from Tyler Bleszinksi, owner of Athletics Nation, to shut down our blog.

By the start of Monday's home opener, this blog will cease to exist, and www.patheticsnation.com will redirect to www.athleticsnation.com.

Blez has also agreed to lift the ban on Tokyoak and allow him to start posting at AN again. However, Tokyoak will be kept on a very short leash, and all of his posts will be pre-screened by Blez or Nico before being posted on the site.

We had a good time kidding around last season, but now it's time to play nice and root for the A's together, as one big happy family.

Um, what day is it?