By The Anti-Blez on Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The T-shirt salesman is an Angels fan.

It's sad, but true. The same man who claims to bleed green and gold, who will shout down (and ban from his blog) anyone who dares challenge his "insider" baseball knowledge or laugh at his "interviews," who has rubbed elbows (and probably other body parts) with Billy Beane and Barry Zito, and who runs our sister site, Athletics Nation, is actually one of the biggest Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim athletic supporters you'd ever have the misfortune to meet. (And meet him I did, at AN Day 2005).

And it's not even a secret. He PROUDLY promotes his ties to Anaheim fandom in this Wired News article, one which details his ownership of the Internet's most popular, number-one Angels blog in the whole wide world, Halos Heaven.

Of course, like any deft propagandist, the T-shirt salesman has set loose a pack of attack dogs to bite the asses (and hump the legs) of any person who dares question his "loyalty" to the Athletics. That's why, in the comments section of Pathetics Nation, you will find hired guns with goofy faux-ethnic names such as "Oobergoober," "Funnyman" and "Ericka Chavez" questioning our integrity and assassinating our character.

But the awful truth cannot be denied. If you climb into bed with the devilish Angels, you will get fucked.

Fucked by a T-shirt salesman and spanked by his rally monkey.

Which is why we call on the T-shirt salesman to come out of the closet. To expose his naked truth. To repent and ask Charles O. Finley for forgiveness. To admit to the world what the world already knows:

THE T-SHIRT SALESMAN IS AN ANGELS FAN!

Let's Go AAA's!

(Satire is a wonderful thing.)